Astronaut

Once I grow up, I’m going to be an Astronaut. My days will mostly be spent floating around my grand spaceship between various boards of shiny silver buttons, eating neapolitan-flavored freeze-dried ice cream sandwiches. I will be the expert on these buttons, working tirelessly day and night flipping switches and turning knobs. Of course, when I am not too busy with my switchboards, I will assist the others on the ship, who will hold such important positions as Doctor and Scientist. When they try to help me, I will yell things like, “Don’t touch that knob Johnson!! That’s only for confribulator emergencies!” After our mission is over, I will successfully navigate our spaceship back to earth through fiery walls of atmosphere. Upon landing, we will be greeted by crowds and crowds of adoring fans. They will all flock around us, begging us to tell them what it’s like to float in space. My colleagues will quiet the mass of excited citizens and inform them that without me, none of the mission’s success would have been possible. My knob turning and navigation abilities surpassed any of their efforts put forth for this operation. Naturally, I will blush and assure the crowd it was a team effort. But, when everyone insists that I take the most prominent spot of our float for our honorary parade, I will not decline.

Famous Writer

Once I grow up, I’m going to be a famous writer. Everything I write will be an instant hit, and people will wait in line for hours upon hours just to buy my new book. Every review written will be an outstanding appraisal of my engaging storylines, witty characters, and thought-provoking situations. People will read my books in a single night, and stand around the water cooler at work the next day sleepless but inspired by my exquisite writings. Their lives changed, they will all vow to quit their silly nine-to-five jobs and venture out into the “real world”--a world where all people co-exist peacefully and with purpose. They will all move to Tuscany or the Midwest, somewhere where they can really get back to their roots, just like my books moved them to do! They will farm corn or coffee or buckwheat, all the while repeating back humorous but clever jokes to each other they first read in my books. As a famous writer, I will only give interviews to the most prestigious magazines, where they will ask me about what my writing schedule is like, and how do I stay in such good shape? After the interview is over, the interviewer will lean in and beg me to write just a few articles for them. “It would be a huge honor,” he or she would whisper, “and we will pay you $100 per word.” Naturally, I would turn the money down, but the issues that I wrote for would be the best sellers of any magazines of all time.